Sunday, December 30, 2012

Flesh and Bone

Somewhere outside that finish line
I square up and break through the chains
I head like a raging bull
Anointed by the blood I take the reins
I come from the core
Of the flag that bears the name
"Battle Born"
They call me the contender
I listen for the bell
My face flashing crimson from the fires of hell
(What are you afraid of?)
And what are you made of?
Flesh and Bone

Why the Insolence?

This will be one of my few personal posts, so here it goes.

Today I was standing in line at Urban Outfitters, minding my own business, when a very mean looking woman started yelling at me for "cutting" in front of her in line.  This woman was standing across the aisle at the jewelry table (which is quite a distance from the front of the line) when she began griping out me.  Rather than call her an incompetent noob, seeing as the line in this particular store traditionally starts in the trail of miscellaneous merchandise that has be placed in front of the registers, I expressed my embarrassment and told her that I was genuinely unaware that she was in line to begin with.  She, surprisingly (or should I say not surprisingly), replied with a rude response to my apology, and stormed in front of me.  Her insolence!  I was literally on the verge of tears, and probably would have smacked her in the face if she said one more thing to me.

This rant was inspired by the impatience and egocentric attitude of the people of the modern era.  I, in all honesty, am sick and tired of people being rude to one another, especially when they are rude without reason.  I would understand discourtesy if it were triggered by a legitimate cause, but to be rude to a stranger?  To be rude or dislike someone that you do not truly know, is just malicious. The past couple of months have really deteriorated my already lacking self-esteem, thanks to the inconsideration of others.  Why can people be so mean without justification?  Believe it or not, peoples words hurt.

The moral of this story?  Maybe if you took the time to be nice to others, you would feel a little bit better about yourself

I may or may not be referring to multiple occurrences other than today's happening at Urban.

Friday, December 28, 2012

I went gladly
to the underworld, never
looking back.
My fear of him was nothing
to the fear I felt
of her.
"Eat," he said, and smiled.
The berries were sharp
and sweet, my fingers
reddened.
Out there, Mother
closed down to the world.
Her fury was not
the fury of fire,
but of ice.
Whenever she went
it was winter--blasted
trees, fallow rock--hard
fields, no berries
anywhere.
The people mourned,
but their tears
could never warm her--
no more than mine.




Saturday, December 22, 2012

Psychological Criticism--Did the Right One Slip In?

*There may be spoilers throughout this post


Wow. Just wow.  I would prefer writing my own personal response to Let Me In, by John Ajvide Lindqvist, but alas, I must abide by the rules of my second quarter challenge--to use four different criticisms to analyze four different works.  Both the Biographical and Psychological Criticism would work in the case of Let Me In, but I have concluded that the application of the psychological criticism would work best for this particular review.  Despite the obvious connection between Lindqvist and Oskar, the protagonist, the reappearance of homosexual tendencies and a skewed sense of self, influenced me to focus on the damaged psyche of three of the primary characters: Oskar, Eli, and Håkan. 

The book opens with an account of the bullied Oskar, a child in Blackeberg who is targeted by a group of boys at his school.  As the first chapter progresses, we find that Oskar fantasizes about getting the ultimate revenge on his oppressors--to end their lives.  He compensates for his powerlessness by binging on candy and shutting himself in his room, where he spies on the neighbors with a telescope and acts out sadistic serial-killer fantasies in front of the mirror.  He begins to prepare himself, physically and mentally, in order to take on his bullies: he goes to the gym on Thursdays with Mr. Avila, the gym teacher, and steals a knife from a local store.  He practices in the woods outside of his complex after school, releasing all of his pent-up frustration on the nearby trees.  As he stabs at the bark, he notices a girl watching him from the playground.  “We can’t be friends,” she tells him when they first meet in the courtyard where he likes to sit alone at night.  But of course they become friends anyway, forming a long lasting companionship.  The two are so psychologically damaged, that they find it easy to relate to one another.  Oskar does not judge Eli, and Eli does not judge Oskar.  Ignored by his mother and father, both of whom are separated, Oskar decides to become invisible.  In his mind, Oskar no longer exists.  He stays in Eli's apartment, where the two are able to find comfort in each others arms.  It is later discovered that Eli, has lost her gender identity over the centuries.  She, or he, was once a boy named Elias, but had been mutilated previous to her development of the sickness.  Oskar still loves Eli, even though she is not the girl that he believed her to be. 

The relationship between Oskar and Eli does not even compare to solely sexual encounters in the vampire novels of the modern era.  It is the union of two people, who were once controlled by an intense lonesomeness.  Håkan however, is unable to quell the solitude that he experiences in his everyday life.  Håkan serves as Eli's guardian.  He travels to neighboring villages and collects blood from unsuspecting townsfolk, hanging them from their feet like pigs as the blood slowly drains from their bodies.  Håkan is in no way a likeable character.  He has been attended a series of child prostitution rings, and has a sick obsession over Eli, bringing her blood in exchange for her body.  His psychological state worsens as the novel progresses.  He attempts to kill himself in order to protect Eli, but it can be argued that his attempted suicide was triggered by the hatred that he has for himself.  He later breaks back into the complex, and attempts to rape Eli.  Håkan is so mentally disturbed, that it is difficult for one to even feel sorry for him.  He has, in my mind, not a single redemptive quality. 

In summation, Let Me In was an intense, psychological thriller, that stands apart from Twilight, and Beautiful Creatures, and True Blood.  It was dark, and depressing, and inspiring all at the same time.  I could not help but fall in love with Oskar and Eli, despite their rather dangerous quirks.  I intend to read the remainder of John Ajvide Lindqvist's works, in the hopes that they will be as enjoyable as the first. 









Sunday, December 16, 2012

For murder, though it have no tongue, will speak with most miraculous organ

Why, why, why?

You want to know why?  This may sound cynical, but after days of pondering, here is why.

Rather than focus on government or politics, I am making a point to go straight to the heart of the evil that has occurred during the past six months: the people.  Why does such evil keep happening?  It is because of the people, those who ignore or improperly handle the threat that psychological disorders impose.  I have seen parents deny their children’s rather obvious disorders time and time again.  These children get no help regarding their psychological disturbances, and are thrust into a country where the accessibility of guns forms the foundation of evil.  People cannot blame the government for something that they are clearly at fault for.  Jean Paul Sartre would have described our country as being stuck in a state of bad faith.

You are absolutely right America.  Guns do not kill people.  Rather, people with stigmatized mental illnesses with little to no access to proper health care or therapy, and too much access to guns due to retailers and family members kill people.  We should be asking why a mother would keep guns in a house with her mentally dysfunctional child, or why people fail to alert the authorities to the men and women who serve a potential threat to society.  A single trip to the guidance counselor is not going to prevent these men and women from harming the innocent.  We cannot ignore the cause, the aggravation for this evil, and expect the problem to just go away on its own.

You can help by forgetting you ever read the names of these men, and remembering the name of at least one victim. You can help by donating to mental health research or supporting gun control, instead of pointing to the government as the source of the problem. You can help by turning off the news, and forming your own opinions regarding the horrific events of the past six months.  You can help, by sending your positive energy out to the victims of this evil, rather then sitting at home asking “why.”  All our words seem so small, so meaningless in the face of such horror, but we have the power to come together and stop this evil from ever tainting our country again.

The moral of this story?  Britain has the right idea, wielding batons and all.

Friday, December 14, 2012

64 Classics Read, More to Come?

I still have many more books that I wish to add to my "classics" list, and will formally address them so that I make a point to live up to my goal.
The Awakening
The Handmaid's Tale
Brave New World
A Street Car Named Desire
Catch-22
The Catcher in the Rye
The Stranger
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Atonement
Rosencratz and Guildenstern are Dead
All the Pretty Horses
The Kite Runner, and more....?

Born to Die?

Is God a sadist, or does he just lack the power to control his own creation?  Why is it that Christians cannot provide me with a direct answer to these inquiries.  Sorry for my disrespect toward your God, but I am just extremely frustrated with the amount of evil that has occurred in the past sixth months, and cannot even begin to understand why this could happen in the first place.  Just, why?




Sunday, December 2, 2012

Sexy Free and Single I'm Ready Too, Bingo?

The other day, someone asked me what kind of guys I normally go for.  Jack and Marcus, now they're my type.


To Tatt or Not?



I've been wanting a tattoo for a while now, and not because it "looks cool," or to make a statement of some sort, but to express some of my innermost feelings.  Tattoos, when done in good taste, can be truly beautiful--unfortunately, not everyone feels this way.  Anyways, I'm interested to hear other opinions regarding tattoos!  Comment away.